Music’s First Family is Now Certain ‘Six is It’
In 12 years of marriage, Fatin and Aja Dantzler have produced six children and four albums. While the Philadelphia-based couple want to make more music, they’ve decided they are done with baby-making.
That decision spurred their delightful web reality show “Six Is It” – as well as the recent decision for Fatin, a.k.a. Daddy Kindred, to undergo a vasectomy to make sure. The family’s decision is the basis of their second season premiere, “Takin’ One For the Team.”
Fatin talked to BAW about life, marriage and what it was like to undergo a procedure that scares many men.
BlackAmericaWeb.com: After six kids, why didn’t you just keep going? You could have become the black Duggars (the parents of 19, who have their own reality show).
FATIN DANTZLER: Why didn’t we just keep going? Because it’s difficult to raise six children, and we’d rather be raising these kids instead of continuing to bring babies into the world. It’s hard in terms of scheduling and getting everything done. My twins just went to school today, so now we have five children in school. Although we love it, we don’t want to be continuing to be running behind little children. We want to go into our 40s having children that can be independent instead of running around raising tiny babies. We had to find a birth prevention method that was foolproof.
Aren’t there less drastic methods than a vasectomy that could have worked for you?
Well, obviously not! We have utilized all methods, and those methods just weren’t foolproof. We wanted to go with a method that seemed to be the method that would work the best for us. That responsibility or issue usually falls on women. They get their tubes tied or take these pills, and those things have risks involved. Condoms are not foolproof, and this was a way for us to continue to enjoy each other and have fun together and not have to be so burdened with that concern: ‘Is that period gone come?’ We considered whether or not it was feasible to get her tubes ties or get an IUD. Aja had been on Depo-Provera before, and it made her hair fall out. I’m the oldest of six, and I never expected to be the father of six. I talked to some people that had had it, and they assured me it was easy and not quite painless, but not like the pain of childbirth or your hair falling out or any of the other side effects. So I had to bite the bullet and stand up for my family.
I think there are a lot of married folks out there who’d like to know how you got to have six kids in the first place!
Thankfully, kids always go to sleep, and we have a house big enough where kids can be in other parts of the house. But it is difficult, and that’s why we want to make sure we can get to that private, private time.
A lot of people look to you guys as an example of a happy married life. How important do you believe a sexual relationship is in a marriage?
It is probably in that top three. We have got to be able to be intimate with each other as much as possible. People are always talking about they’re cheating or going through rough periods or ‘My man or my woman isn’t doing it for me.’ You’ve got to enjoy each other. You’ve got to want to be with one another. We’re very into each other, and we want to be together. That part of our relationship never grows stale. If you want to make it work and make it last, everybody knows that that’s an intimate part of their relationship. Sex is healthy, and I think it’s a very instrumental piece. Get somebody that matches your energy sexually. It’s important to be with somebody where y’all are feeling each other as much as possible. It’s obvious that we enjoy it.
So given that, were you afraid that there could be some unwanted complications with a vasectomy?
I was scared to death that that was going be an issue. I was scared that I wasn’t going to get an erection anymore, scared that I wasn’t going to be able to ejaculate. I talked to somebody that I kind of trusted and believed that whatever they were telling me was going to be true. If you want to get it done, you get feedback, you do your research. I Googled it, and in my initial appointment with them, the doctors made it clear to me that that wasn’t an issue. When you see the show, the doctors said that they wouldn’t do it themselves, but I don’t know if that was a joke or not.
What was the recovery like?
The recovery period is a couple of days. It depends on the person. I mean, seven days later, we were back in the saddle, and I couldn’t wait to test this thing out. (Laughs) You do have to follow up and go back because there is still active sperm in the tract that are alive and ready to roll. So you have to wait and get all of that out first.
The surgery is outpatient, and it’s quick. They basically make an incision between the bottom of the penis and bottom of the scrotum. It’s a small incision in your sac area, and you will develop a small bulge where that incision happened, but that will eventually go down.
How are things going for you guys now?
Aja is VERY HAPPY. She’s very happy with the results and the idea of it all, and we’re having a good time.
After undergoing the procedure, is a vasectomy something you would recommend that other men consider?
I think that’s it’s something that should be discussed between you and your mate. I don’t think it should be utilized as a process just to avoid having kids. No one can turn away from the responsibility of having kids if you’re having unprotected sex. I think it’s a great responsibility to take on, and God gives it to us for a reason. If you’ve already thought about it enough, then I think it could be a good decision for you, but if you’re young, and you’re just trying to get your career on or something like that, then in my personal opinion, I would wait. A vasectomy can be reversed. It’s a method that worked for me, and it was the right decision.
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The second season of Kindred’s “Six Is It” is on now at www.kindredthefamilysoul.com.
